Showdown: Harry vs Voldemort
by Earth Magician
Summary: This is the last battle, in a humorous way. A chicken, some radioactive squirrels, a turkey, some frogs and a fox made their way into this unique fic. Read, if you dare. written preOoTP


A.N. I don't own Harry Potter. The chicken, turkey and fox ideas come from my sister and her gang, who are leading the chicken rebellions. The Frying Pan of Doom comes from "The Book of Enchantments" by Patricia Wrede. I give Trillian Black full credit for the Radioactive Squirrels, whom I just developed. And it's one of Kevin Roth's songs that gave me the idea for the frogs.  
  
Showdown: Harry vs. Voldemort  
  
100 years before our story takes place there was a wizard. He was so powerful that his kind and the Muggles banned him into a dark forest, with only the animals to keep him company. He was so furious that he cast a spell on all humans other than himself that they were cursed to be an animal for one day, without the knowledge that they would be turned back after a day. If only he had known what would come from this seemingly harmless prank, for it had ended up in a curse that returned every 100 years.  
  
Now to our story, it seemed like it would be a normal day to all the humans on earth. But our story isn't about Muggles; we're concentrating on the students and teachers at Hogwarts, Voldemort and his Death Eaters in this story. It was a day to go down in history. Dumbledore gave Harry the-Frying- Pan-of-Doom on that day. Not only that, but this was the day they slew the dark lord of that time.  
  
"Harry," Dumbledore said in a serious voice, "I know that this might be hard for you, but you are the only one who can save this world from Voldemort. Try picking up the frying pan I have on my table."  
  
Harry looked at it and said, "Frying pan?" and looked at Dumbledore questioningly. Why did he have to pick up a stupid frying pan? But he believed in Dumbledore, so he did it. His question was soon answered by Dumbledore, "I am so glad you can hold it! That means it's destined for you! It's called the-Frying-Pan-of- Doooooom! Only one person can wield it without being bunt by it's heat, and that apparently is you. Here's the story behind it:  
  
"There once was a powerful enchanter, who wanted to make a weapon which heroes would battle for in future. The spell could only be cast once in the enchanters' lifetime, so he didn't want anything to go wrong. When he was in a crucial moment in his spell his wife came in, with her frying pan, to tell him that dinner was ready. He was startled out of his trance, stood up, and tripped over his pet pig. The spell misfired, and hit his wife's frying pan. Both of them were rather upset, because with that his only chance at creating the weapon was destroyed, and she was upset because she'd lost her favorite frying pan. Later it was discovered that the frying pan will turn everybody that's hit on the head with it into a poached egg.  
  
"That's the story about it, and here's some armor that will never rust, and will always fit you. It's made out of stainless steel. I wish you luck, my dear ally." Harry put on the armor and walked out with the frying pan.  
  
Voldemort was knocking Muggles on the head with his skillet, while he was under an invisibility spell. Oh how he loved to torment Muggles. Then he realized that he was changing, and he apparated back to his home before he could take notice that the Muggles were also changing. He had long since decided that they would attack Hogwarts that day, so he and his death eaters apparated to the edge of the boundaries around Hogwarts. He was rather surprised when his enemies were already waiting for him. Potter had the weirdest assortment of clothes on. Then the transformations became more dramatic, everyone started turning into animals. Lupin just took his werewolf form, while Voldemort was turned into a turkey, his death eaters into radioactive squirrels, Harry into a chicken, Dumbledore into a fox, and the rest of the good guys into frogs.  
  
The first thing Harry noticed was that the ground was a lot closer. First he looked at himself, and noticed that he was a chicken. Then he saw what everyone else had become. Voldemort had forgotten to put down his skillet, so he was easy to pick out. His mentor was a white wolf. He only knew this because they had been right next to each other when it had started. The two armies, now evenly matched because animals can't use magic, advanced on each other. Harry was knocking everyone that came in his way with his frying pan, while all their attacks just glanced off of his armor. There were lots of poached eggs. Well, Remus hadn't eaten much that day, and he was hungry so he started eating all the eggs.  
  
Finally Harry reached Voldemort. They dueled with their deadly weapons. Suddenly Harry found a weakness and struck. He flew in the air, and knocked Voldemort on the head, who immediately turned into a poached egg; Remus, not knowing the difference, went up and ate it. After seeing their lord so easily killed, the rest of the death eaters fled much to the satisfaction of the wizards. Then they headed back into the castle, where Binns told them of the wizard 100 years ago, and they went to sleep to await their transformation back into their human state...well, some of them went to sleep. Harry and Remus were talking about poached eggs, and who was eaten. The problem was, they didn't know who was eaten, other than Voldemort. They ended up talking about who they hopped was eaten.  
  
Draco Malfoy was really enjoying being a frog. He was swimming in the lake, and having a lot of fun. He didn't have a care in the world, other than that other frog that was entering his territory. It turned out it was Ron, and they started fighting, before they had to swim back to the surface.  
  
The next day everything was all back to normal, except there wasn't any dark lord to worry about. Wouldn't that be abnormal then? Oh well. Thus ends The Showdown: Harry vs. Voldemort. I hope you liked the story, and it really happened that way. Do I sense doubt? I mean it! See you soon, my lovely audience! 


End file.
